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Parenting
Tips
Raising kids today is arguably harder than ever before.
But, there are some ways to help ease the stress and strain of
raising your little ones and prevent behavior problems through good
parenting.
- Establish "together time" Establish a regular weekly
routine for doing something special with your child -- even if it’s
just going out for ice cream
- Don’t be afraid to ask where your kids are going and who they’ll
be with. Get to know your kid’s friends -- and their parents -- so
you’re familiar with their activities.
- Try to be there after school when your child gets home.
- Eat together often. Meals are a great time to talk about the day and
bond.
- Be a better listener. Ask and encourage questions. Ask your kid’s
input about family decisions. Showing your willingness to listen will
make your child feel more comfortable about opening up to you.
- Don’t react in a way that will cut off further discussion. If your
child says things that challenge or shock you, turn them into a calm
discussion.
- Be a living, day to day, example of your value system. Show the
compassion, honesty, generosity and openness you want your child to
have.
- Know that there is no such thing as "do as I say, not as I
do" when it comes to your kids.
- Examine your own behavior.
- Reward good behavior consistently and immediately. Expressions of
love, appreciation, and thanks go a long way – even for kids who
think themselves too old for hugs.
- Accentuate the positive. Emphasize what your kid does right.
Restrain the urge to be critical. Affection and respect will reinforce
good (and change bad) behavior. Embarrassment or uneasiness won’t.
- Create rules. Discuss in advance the consequences of breaking them.
Don’t make empty threats or let the rule-breaker off easy. Don’t
impose harsh or unexpected new punishments.
- Set a curfew. Enforce it strictly, but be ready to negotiate on
special occasions.
- Have kids check in at regular times. Give them a phone card, change
or even a pager, with clear rules for using it.
- Call parents whose home is to be used for a party. On a party night,
don’t be afraid to stop in to say hello (and make sure that adult
supervision is in place).
- Listen to your instincts. Don’t be afraid to intervene if your gut
reaction tells you something’s wrong.
- Let your children know how much you care in every situation you can,
and especially when they are having problems.
- Keep a positive attitude about your ability to be a parent. Trust
your instincts.
- Take care of yourself. Meet your needs for support with other adults
so you can establish healthy parent-child boundaries.
- Take time to teach your children values while they are young. Live
your own values every day.
- Make your home a safe, secure, and positive environment. Provide
appropriate privacy for each family member.
- Get involved in your child’s school, your neighborhood, and your
community. You, not the teachers and other authority figures in your
child’s life, are responsible for parenting your child.
- Set clear rules and limits for your children. Be flexible and adjust
the rules and limits as they grow and are able to set them for
themselves.
- Follow through with consequences for your children’s misbehavior.
Be certain the consequences are immediate and relate to the
misbehavior, not your anger.
- Let your children take responsibility for their own actions. They
will learn quickly if misbehavior results in unpleasant natural
consequences.
- Be a guide for your children. Offer to help with homework, in social
situations, and with concerns about the future. Be there to help them
direct and redirect their energy and to understand and express their
feelings.
- You are separate from your child. Let go of the responsibility for
all of your children’s feelings or outcome of their decisions.
Your
children’ successes or failures are theirs, not yours.
- Provide an environment for your children where a foundation
of mutual appreciation, support, and respect is the basis of your
relationship into their adult years.
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